Hi Jasper, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m also sorry to hear that your biological family didn’t treat you right. Thank you for sharing your story. Reading your response has made me feel less alone, and I’m glad that my piece has done the same to you. I can’t thank you enough for your kind and encouraging words ❤

If anything, my experience has made me more willing to express my feelings and thoughts to my loved ones. I’m trying to more readily express my gratitude and tell my friends how much I love and cherish them, because (as mortality often does) I’m reminded that we aren’t here forever.

I hope you’re moving closer towards a sense of closure, at a pace that feels right to you. Personally, I’ve since spoken to a few people who’ve dated him (some of whom were total strangers to me) and somehow knowing more about him has helped me inch towards closure. From what I’ve experienced, grief doesn’t really feel like a path but more like waves—it comes and goes. Sometimes it feels like it could drown me, and sometimes it feels like background noise. But as it comes and goes, over time, I find myself inching towards closure. I’ve also found myself feeling that closure comes not only from something external but also from within myself. I don’t presume to know exactly how you’re feeling, and I do believe that everyone grieves differently and at different paces. But I do sincerely hope that you’re on your way towards feeling better about what has happened.